There Ain’t Nothing Wrong With Me

So say the doctors. Maybe something to do with bile salts not binding together well enough, or something. Got me a prescription I haven’t filled yet cause I was too busy running around buying a new cell phone and new laundry baskets and a book I have to review for my freelance gig at the end of the month.  The upshot to two major surgical tests in two weeks is that I’ve managed to lose 10lbs.  Want to lose weight?  Have some doctor check your colon.  All that fasting will do a number on all that extra weight.  The side benefit? I think my stomach has shrunk cause I can’t eat a whole meal even if I wanted to right now.

The most exciting thing going on here lately is that my dog ate my cell phone.  I don’t know how he does it or why small electronic things taste good to him, but for whatever reason the doxie loves to eat him some electronic dinners after we go to bed.  He’s eaten three remote controls. Oh, and shoes. I’ve lost so many shoes over the last year I’ve lost count. No amount of whooping his tiny dog butt matters. He’s gonna chew no matter what.

You see, Mrs. Hillbilly isn’t much of a housekeeper. I’m too busy being creative for that.  I don’t pick up after myself well.  I mean, I do it — but it comes in bursts.  I clean the house from top to bottom before I start a big project, or at the end of the semester, that kind of thing.  And when I go to bed at night, I’m well known to leave whatever I’m working on just sitting out on the coffee table. Where the evil Mr. Dacotah can get ahold of it.  The cell phone was the final straw. Those things are expensive.  Ridiculously so.

I’m going to have to change my ways. So I bought a nice little tasteful box to put the shoes in ( cause I’m down to three pair, so I can fit them in it) and I put it right by the door.  Then, I realized that my laundry baskets caused a stain on my hardwood floor. I don’t know how or why but there’s a big permanent black spot on the floor where the laundry basket was.  This is the second time that’s happened. Time to toss them too.

Thank goodness we have a Container Store in the neighborhood now.  It solves all those “where will I put my shoes to thwart the tiny dog” problems.  Cause you know, I can’t put them in the closet where they belong. Because THAT is full of sweatshirts and other things.  Home organization is not my forte.

There’s been almost no Hillbilly news to report lately and nothing exciting in the land of Hillbilly art or blogs or anything else.  So I may slow down here until the Fall, when hunting season starts, and there’s sure to be plenty to gab about.  Hope ya’ll aren’t melting out there, now that the humidity has finally kicked in!

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Tipper said,

    Glad there’s nothing wrong with you! Sorry about the cell phone and shoes. But hey it does make for a funny post.


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